Why do we always look outside for mistakes?

*Disclaimer: This blog, like most of my blogs, contains ideas, behaviors and expressions having an Indian audience in mind. Readers from other cultures may have differing views and behaviors.

Most of us have paid a bribe at some point in our life, yet we point fingers at others and act absolutely innocent when the topic of corruption arises.

We say our politicians and police officials are highly corrupt and incompetent, but we fail to realize that they too are a part of our community and it’s the entire community that needs to change.

Recently, we witnessed protests held at various parts of our country to improve safety for women in our cities but aren't we the same people who stare at a girl who is low-clad and blame her for being provocative? Why shouldn't a girl be allowed to wear what she wants when a guy can shamelessly urinate openly on the street?

We say our surroundings need to be kept clean and hygiene must be imbibed in our way of living, but we ourselves end up littering roads, blaming the municipality for not having enough garbage bins.

We all believe that casteism and racism need to be eradicated but end up mentioning preferences of caste (and even sub-caste) in online/offline matrimonial profiles.

Everyone believes we should help the poor and it’s immoral to look down upon them, but when approached by a beggar, we cringe, deride or even abuse them.

We feel other’s children are always making a mess or need to be controlled but when it comes to ours, they are just innocently playing around.

We yell out loud when a driver in another car drives rashly but when we do it ourselves, we say we’re in a hurry!

We get angry at anyone else who lies to us (in fact we preach to our kids to never lie) but all of us end up lying many times in our lives.

Why do we keep justifying our own actions and continue excusing our misdeeds? Why can’t we accept our mistakes and try to change instead? Why are humility and readiness to change so rarely seen these days? 

None of us is perfect and everyone has his/her merits and demerits. Let’s accept the faults and celebrate the virtues. Isn’t accepting failure the first step towards success? What do you think?

A joke called Mumbai local train

Millions (and by millions I mean more than 7 million) of people use the Mumbai local trains to commute every day. Statistically, trains in Mumbai carry a whopping 265% of its capacity during peak hours and this results in what is known as Super Dense Crush Load of 14-16 passengers per square meter of the trains' floor space! If this statistic doesn’t sound whacky enough check this one out - more than 10 people die in train accidents every single day(don’t trust me? check WikiPedia). 10 fatalities per day is not just a statistic but a brutal reality that a common man has to go through while travelling in Mumbai local trains each day. And these mishaps have become such commonplace that the people travelling everyday consider it a rule of thumb - this is how it is and if you have to survive in Mumbai, you have to go through this! Everyone feels it should not be the way it is, but no one knows what can be done to avoid the same. People who travel can't do much, and the people who can (politicians/ bureaucrats/ policy makers) don't feel the pinch because they don't use these transport mediums. 

People in Mumbai are called true-spirited citizens because they move on with an accident or an incident with great comfort and they (apparently) don't get bogged down by such harsh realities. But the truth is people in Mumbai do not have an option! It's more of a compulsion than a choice. People choose to commute in the trains because local trains are the cheapest, fastest and most connected transport system in Mumbai. Eric Hoffer once said – “Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem”. Imagine the self-esteem of millions of people who have to “adjust” every single day of their life to travel through these Mumbai local trains. If only they had a choice!

Check out these videos i found on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=1eAP-BoxVkg&feature=endscreen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL93N6dfXLk

The true Indian culture

It's such a beautiful world. You give something only to get something more. You spread the warmth and it comes back to you in innumerable ways. More so from the people from the countryside. 

They are so humble, helpful, thankful, innocent and caring that they fail to be anywhere close to diplomacy. They give others selflessly and expect nothing at all in return. This of course, is a generalization of the majority of the people from such regions and excluding a rather savage people. The humanity in the urban locales is reducing as fast as the trees in these areas. On a lighter note - I feel the warmth of the people is directly proportional to the trees that survive in their area; although, no offense to people belonging to desert areas!

If you wish to see the real India, i would suggest you go to the interior rural areas. That's the true INDIAN culture. The culture that can now be seen in the urban counterparts is as fake as the makeup that the women in these regions are laden with. The hospitality that you'll find in any house in the rural areas is incomparable to any top tier hotel anywhere in the country. The basic difference lies in sharing your already minimal resources. Let me paint a brief picture - 4 people sit cramped up on the train seat meant for only 3(sometimes just 2) people. We, the urban people, call it insanity and stupidity or even tackiness, but they call it sharing. And the reason for the sharing is that each one of them cannot afford the seat for more reasons than one.

We usually call people before visiting (or what we call it as crashing into) their homes, but if you go to countryside, everyone's door is wide open. They welcome visitors who come uninformed and treat them well. And I think that's the true Indian culture and not the one that we try to imitate looking at westerners.

Luxury means different to different people. For some it is buying expensive toys which their kids hardly play with or buying expensive fancy foodstuff that their kids or themselves end up wasting more often. But for many in India luxury means buying a Rs. 5 vadapav for their kid or buying fancy, attractive and dirt cheap stuff in the train. 

It's about time we start preserving the true Indian culture, which is on the verge of extinction much like the 1400 and odd Indian tigers. The tigers' extinction can be debated as a natural step in ecological evolution but the extinction of our culture is a mere reflection of our naive attraction towards the relatively younger cultures. Instead of being proud of our achievements and our traditions and spreading them across the world, we are pacing towards being western (or as we call it - being "global").

Credibility - need of the hour!

In today's world, we think money is the ultimate superpower. But there is something else that each one of us unknowingly strives for continually - Credibility. We all think we want a good education, a good job in a good company or a good profit earning methodology to earn more money. But it's not really the monetary benefit that we are (or should be) hunting for, it’s the ultimate satisfaction of being believable. It's the feeling that our words and thoughts matter to other people. It's the trust our fellow citizens have in us that will get us the position and fame that we wish for, not just the money. Money can be earned in various ways, but if you are a person that someone can have a faith in, then the money will come and eventually will stay with you longer.

Credibility is, by all means, a mutual give and take of intangible assets. It's like the barter system in the olden days - you give some, you get some.

This phenomenon has numerous examples from all walks of life - 

• The intake of the major business schools around the world each year. These schools want to take individuals who can add value to these institutions and these students wish to join the top business schools to add a feather in their resume. The schools become famous because of its (ex)students and hence, more successful students want to join such schools.
• Your colleagues, your friends or your companions you choose for yourself. If eminent people know you well, you are deemed more valuable and trustworthy. Consequently, the people you know are considered reliable. 
• In business circle, if one of your friends is a successful businessman, your credibility points increase automatically.
• Globally, if a major developed nation supports your country, the trustworthiness of your country manifolds.
• In case of Search Engine Optimization (SEO), if an authentic website links back to your site, you earn brownie points. And hence the back and forward links prove to be major factors in deciding your online footprint.
• And so on…

It's this give and take of credibility that the renowned people work with. The more credible value you add to an organization or a relationship with another person, the more (in)credible you yourself become. That's how it works! 

As it's said - "A person is known by the company he/she keeps..."